Chronic Affliction of Thought

i feel the coast of my convictions burn to violet glass
the sword of sunset on the sky shattered by coming night
the stars like teardrops in the heavens blurring what will pass
when the sun and I find our way home and set this painting right.
an irony flaming like ice does spread beneath my skin,
the clay shards of my reason come to think that they are whole
i ask, will nothing come to tempt this rankled stain within
it thirsts, an angry idol, for the child in my soul.

You've Just Won One...

I'm about to graduate and move into high school! WHOO!!!!
I've also just finished my last school play. And the acting club thing that I'm in is about to end soon too. Basketball was over in February. In summer I'm going to take guitar lessons, FINALLY whooee, and then for a glorious July I'm going to be in The Crucible. Maybe do some camping in August.

And now, as always, I'm going to list the problems in my life...

...umm...
...nothing.

YEAH!!!
That rocks!!!
Sort of.
not really.
Shit.

It really isn't that fun to be happy when it means you just sit around all day and do hobbies. And algebra, first period. At first it's like, "Yay! Summertime, living is easy!" and then it begins to be really boring, like you've just won a free lifetime supply of cabbage. Or worse, one cabbage. But what am I going to do when everything I like to do is stuff that you do alone? (Besides acting, which I have to wait another two months to do.) Tutor in English? Apply for a scholarship to college? Be in a band? (The band thing sounds awesome, but I happen to play guitar, like seemingly everybody else on the planet.)

I know that if I was good enough, I could play guitar in a band, or get some writing of mine published, or try out for a musical. But I don't know if I'm really good at the stuff I do because the feedback I get is from, like, my mom. What I need is somebody who isn't afraid to show me how to get better at the stuff I like doing, so eventually I'm good enough to reach the goals I want. Without it, I'm basically going to spend all my free time playing the intro for "Turn of the Century" in my backyard, and being convinced that I'm annoying the hell out of anybody who may be passing by.

TFATF,
-Ahaneen