Zippity-Here's-My-Post-of-the-Day!

I suppose having a new blog is like running the mile: you start out okay but halfway through your first lap you begin to wonder why you didn't call in sick to the office. Maybe after two weeks I'll stop bugging you guys with my daily e-mail.

I was sitting at my computer, writing sun-drenched, rain-splattered songs, when I remembered a time when I had been completely lost. Do you ever have those experiences? I had no idea where I wanted to go with my life, what religion I wanted to follow...I was questioning my sanity and wondering if I was depressed..and then there was my dilemma: to be loyal to my tight circle of rather unpopular friends or to try juggling many cliques at once. That was when school ended. Fortunately for me, drama at the SCT began and solidified my convictions: I am going to pursue acting, am agnostic for the time being, and think friends too much fun not to have as many of them as possible. But before drama, before all that solidification, I wrote the following song to myself. I am an amateur songwriter and it's probably not that good. Here's about one half of it:

You told me once you had a dream
--You were standing at a junction
And in that moment
There were one thousand ways to run.
You said on every magazine
There was a dead face you had seen
Who in that moment
Erupted onto every path before your feet
You try to silence your alarm clock
But it then begins to choke
Sweet, you try to write a letter but
Your fountain pen just broke
A single thought has entered and
You know it is self-centered
An everlasting song quarrel
You know what your parents they will tell.

They'll say, "Estrelle…dear Estrelle…
There's a chariot in the driveway
And everyone's staring on the lane
There's a chariot in the driveway
And everyone's staring on the lane..."

Basically the synopsis is: I was at a crossroads where I didn't know which path to follow. All the different outcomes--the dead faces--were battling with each other to get me to follow them. I thought that my time was running out and whenever I tried to make contact with new people something held me back. I just wanted to get away from the confusion.
-Ahaneen